Forgotten Fashion Icons of 2000s iPad Games

Papa's Bakeria > Vogue.

1. Fireboy and Watergirl

LOOK AT THESE FASHIONABLE LITTLE MOTHERFUCKERS. The high ponytail moment? The gelled up frosted tips (I know they're not actually frosted but in my heart they are)? ICONIC. THE FOREST TEMPLE WAS THE RUNWAY AND BITCH THEY WERE STRUTTING.

2. Cherissa from Papa's Bakeria

Wardrobe NEED. Blue eyeshadow à la Mii customization. Perfect windswept jet-black waves. A cutesy little red shawl reminiscent of Little Red Riding Hood??? She's perfect.

She did the cherry theme before anyone else. Lana-del-Rey-Lolita-coquette-Pinterest wishes.

3. Stella from Angry Birds

Look, they made the normal bird pink and gave it eyelashes so you know it's a girl. Go feminism. Unfortunately she still kinda serves cunt (and according to her wikipedia she's a #girlboss who #needsnoman so I guess it's okay in this case).

I mean, look! She's such a delightful bubblegum pink color and her brows are soooo browing (is this blog even recognizable as satire anymore) and I really do need to know which mascara that is. Is it Better than Sex? She looks like a Better than Sex girlie.

4. Karma Lee from Temple Run

I WANTED TO BE HER. THE BLACK BALLET SHOES? THE FITTED RED TOP? SHUT UP. If I'm ever running from hot demon monkeys (is that a problematic statement?) I hope I'm dressed like this because otherwise there's no point. Also, the name "Karma Lee" is just so unequivocally badass. Definitely in my top 3 contenders if I ever go into porn.

5. Scarlett Fox from Temple Run

We can't include Karma Lee without, of course, Ms. Scarlett Fox. That choker? The sexy yet practical knee high boots? Who else could wear knee pads like a middle school soccer player and STILL be hot enough I'd ask her to step on me??? That's right. Scarlett Fox.

I always thought she and Guy Dangerous were a couple. Is that based in truth at all or did I just make that up? Either way... threesome? ;)

6. Talking Angela

Ok, fair warning, I never played this game and this weird slutty cat kinda creeps me out. But she is undeniably a fashion icon. Winged eyeliner? Sharp enough to kill a man, as T-Swizzle would say.

7. This bitch from Clash of Clans (which I never played)

Like Angela, I never played this game but my friends implored me to include her. It didn't take much to convince me, though. The long, flowing, aesthetically-distressed skirt; the sick-ass ram skull cane thingy; the glowing pink eyes... literally what wouldn't I give to have glowing pink eyes. There's nothing.

Also, look at her little skeleton army! Ugh, #jealous!

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thx for reading <3 xoxo