How to Take a College Art Class

Riley Howe
Feb 4, 2024
4 min read

The steps to succeed in your first studio art course.

You should go even if it's just to, like, take pictures of all the weird shit there. Also they have free coffee.

1. Be paralyzed by perfection

Step 1: panic for, like, 3 hours straight twice a week while staring at everyone else wondering how they're not also freaking out.

Try not to crumble to the floor and convulse every time you pick up a pencil because the pressure is just too much and it feels like everyone is looking at you. Tear your hair out. Spend wayyyyyy too long worrying about, like, a rough draft.

2. Undergo ego death

Step 2: have a brief moment of clarity and realize you are sick-to-your-stomach anxious about an INTRO-LEVEL COURSE. FOR YOUR MINOR. ABOUT ART, ONE OF THE MOST NON-OBJECTIVE TOPICS IN THE WORLD.

Your art will not be perfect. It might not even be mediocre. And that's okay.

Humans have been making art as long as we've existed, and the vast majority of it was probably pretty average. We have entire semester-long courses dedicated to examining what makes art good and bad, and we employ a lot of professors to go to conferences and argue about it. Art is SO SUBJECTIVE, and SO HUMAN, and so much more simple than we make it out to be.

There's probably somewhere right now dying on the hill that the spilled paint on a sidewalk is art. And maybe they're right. So what are you so worried about?

3. Comparison is the thief of joy

Step 3: stop comparing yourself to your classmates. See above: art is SUBJECTIVE. Isn't it fantastic that for every person in the world there are an infinite number of artistic visions? Isn't it so brilliant that the world will never run out of original art, because every artist is unique?

Besides, imagine how much mental space you'd have for complimenting your peers and getting inspired if you weren't so busy judging yourself... every workshop you waste berating yourself for your total lack of talent (definitely not true, by the way) is a missed opportunity to remember that one girl who's totally going to be in the MET one day, or that one painting that will resonate with you so much you'll take a picture of it, or that one really cool technique you've never heard of before.

4. Make something terrible

Step 4: make something that totally sucks. It's okay. It won't kill you. I promise the world won't end.

Actually, you'll probably show it to your roommates and they'll be like, "shut up I actually like it," and you'll be like, "holy shit I'm never asking you for an outfit opinion ever again you have terrible taste".

You are going to sometimes make terrible things, just like you're sometimes going to get a terrible grade (D is for diploma!) or have a terrible first date or drink a terrible coffee because you paid too much for it to let it go to waste. C'est la vie or whatever.

The sooner you realize something can suck and the world will keep spinning, the better off you'll be. I promise.

5. Make something slightly better

Step 5: make something that kinda DOESN'T suck. Be really, really, proud of yourself even if it feels dumb. Send a picture of it to your grandmother. Put "experienced studio artist" on your resume.

The world can be a brutal and heartless place, but it doesn't have to be. If you want to be praised, be someone who praises yourself and others. If you want people to see you, start by seeing others. If you want to feel safe to take up space, start by TAKING UP SPACE. If you want to be an artist, make the fucking art and show it to as many people as possible.

6. Let your inner 10 year old out

Step 6: imagine how your childhood self would feel if they woke up in your shoes.

Um, my 10 year old self would lose her fucking mind. I'm in an art class??? I drink large coffees and wear pretty dresses and dance on tables on the weekends???? No fucking way. She'd think I was the coolest person ever.

Art- actually college in general, or, actually, LIFE in general- is supposed to be a GIFT, not a chore. I grew up hearing my mom talk about how when she switched to studying English in college she felt like she was getting away with a crime. "All I have to do is read books? That's it? Like, the thing I do for fun?"

You're saying I get credits for showing up to an art studio and fucking around with a printer for a couple hours??? 10 year old me would lose her shit.

7. Namedrop as often as possible

Step 7: use your newly-earned bragging rights as an art student.

"Ugh, sorry I didn't see your text. I've been in the art center allllll day." "Sorry, can't get dinner, I'm working in the art building until it closes." "Bye, I'm heading to my art class! See you in three hours!" Flex on all those comp-sci and business majors with your eclectic and bohemian lifestyle.

Are you even really an art student if you don't bring it up as often as possible?

8. Think, "why didn't I go to art school?"

Step 8: question how much better and sexier your life would be if you had gone to art school.

You'd probably be in, like, Paris or something. Drinking red wine and having threesomes while working on your portfolio (yes, all at the same time). Mourn that super-chic alternate version of you who picked up smoking and miraculously got good at watercolor (seriously, fuck watercolor).

9. Remember why you didn't go to art school

Step 9: remember every friend you've ever had who went to art school and almost died.

Be grateful for your normal and not Parisian university. Fuck Paris. Art school is probably a scheme by the CIA to uphold oppressive eurocentric regimes anyway. Or something.