The Bermuda Triangle Turns Me On

There's just something so effortlessly sexy about the Bermuda Triangle. Why is no one talking about this.

I don't know if I want to be her or be with her. I want her to step on me in thigh high boots. She could slap me and I'd say thank you.

She just has the most effortless femdom vibes ever. Ugh. #Jealous. The Bermuda Triangle definitelyyyy has that judgy RBF that kinda makes you want to crawl under a table but also kinda makes you want to quit your day job to become a sex slave (JK guys, I don't have a job).

There's just something so erotic about the relationship between a mysterious urban legend and the doomed sailors the enter her (I too want anyone who enters me to be immediately doomed to a strange, supernatural death). The sea is a cruel mistress or whatever... um, hot.

It makes me yearn for those simpler times of the far off past...I mean, back in the good old days you could just run away from home and trade your meager working skills for room and board on a rundown boat, and it was okay if the food was stale and the bed was shitty, because the sound of the ocean waves lulled you to sleep at night, and then as the boat got further and further out to sea your nights would start to fill up with listless dreams of eerie singing that was sometimes more like wailing and water closing around your neck like a beautiful woman's legs and you'd wake up with the taste of salt on your lips and stare out at the misty horizon and feel fear rise up in you like the tide and know deep in your soul that you were never going to go home again.

What was I saying. Oh yeah. There's just no good occupations nowadays for people who feel compelled to die at sea.

There's like, the Navy (ew! the military industrial complex is yucky), and... crab fishing? Honestly I don't hate the idea. I did have a childhood crush on one of the captains from Deadliest Catch, after all. But what if all there is to eat on the boat is crab. I don't like crab.

See! I'm going to have to die an unsexy, landlocked death. How am I supposed to listlessly haunt rocky beaches in a water-soaked white dress under these conditions. I fucking hate modernity.

Anyway. The Bermuda Triangle is hot and I'm tired to keeping quiet about it. I want nothing more than to drown in her embrace. To dash myself on the cliffs of her indifference will be the greatest bliss of my mortal life. Me + Bermuda Triangle 5ever. <3